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Casey, Dominic ġ1 “If you’re cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?”ġ2 “You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now.”ġ3 “Unless you are a pizza, the answer is yes, I can live without you.” – Bill Murrayġ4 “Sorry, I’m not Adele. Want to know whether you should be kicking your lover to the curb? These smartass quotes about breakups are sure to help you out.ġ0 “Shut up with the back talk, because if I wanted lip from you, I’d sit on your face” – L.A. That’s when you’ll want to have an arsenal of coy, yet hilarious, comebacks ready in your back pocket. May I interest you in a sarcastic comment, instead?” – Chandler, Friends ĩ “When I feel down and someone tells me to ‘suck it up,’ I get the urge to break their legs with a baseball bat and then say ‘walk it off.’” Smartass quotes for breakups Rub one ball and everything moves.”ħ “I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I’m still looking for ideas.”Ĩ “I’m not very good at advice.

You have to touch them all over before they respond. You can only stalk them and hope for the best.” Ħ “Women are like iPhones. It’s called balance.”ģ “Face your problems, don’t Facebook them.”Ĥ “God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” – Robin Williamsĥ “You can’t make somebody love you.

Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. ġ “I always say ‘Morning’ instead of ‘Good Morning,’ because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people.”Ģ “Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. That’s where we come in! If you’re looking for a sassier way to go through life, these smartass quotes with advice are sure to help. Sometimes life leads you astray with no one to turn to. Learn them and you’ll never have that “I wish I’d said that” moment again! Smartass quotes with a dose of advice Friend making bad life choices? There’s a smartass quote for that.ĭon’t go through life unprepared! We’re giving you 50 smartass quotes for life, breakups, comebacks, and general advice to live by.

Nasty ex sniffing around? There’s a smartass quote for that. It’s these harrowing situations that wake you out of a sound sleep suddenly fresh with dozens of snappy one-liners you wish you would have said. Unfortunately, by that point, the opportunity is long gone. It’s not until an hour or two later that you come up with a one-liner to knock them off their feet. If you have ever been offended by someone with nothing but a gaping mouth and a figurative puff of smoke as a response, you know how tragic a lack of a comeback can feel. So what’s the most effective way to get out your frustrations while still coming off like the lovable stud/studette that you are? Smartass quotes. In fact, people love sarcasm, which makes it a great outlet to get all of that pent up resentment out while slapping a smile on your face. It’s that love/hate thing that means you can’t stand them on one hand, but you find them hilarious on the other. When you meet one, you need a range of smartass quotes to send them on their way.Įveryone loves a smartass, whether they want to admit it or not. There are some people who would try the patience of a saint.